Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Thursday's Children Blog Hop: Ode To The Asshole


"I'm not a tough guy.  I'm just delivering the truth and the only truth and if you can't deal with it, too bad." -Kevin O'Leary

In a previous post, I talked about what constitutes a "tough" woman (if you missed "Ode To The Bitch", you can find it here).  I wanted to talk about women because oftentimes, tough women are a mystery.  But that post got me thinking.

What about men?

Tough guys have been reduced to caricatures in our society.  The street thug.  The gangbanger.  The dumb goon.  "Toughness" in men is associated with being dangerous, mean, even abusive.

I have a different idea of what it means to be tough.

I've known a lot of tough men.  To the person, they blow the stereotypes out of the water. 

Here's what they've taught me about what it really means to be a tough guy.

Tough guys don't advertise.  If you have to tell someone you're a tough guy -by how you talk, walk, or dress- odds are you're not as tough as you think you are.  The toughest guys I've ever met look just like everyone else... until someone crosses that uncrossable line.

Then watch out.

Tough guys crack jokes, not just skulls.  All the tough guys I've met are rib-shatteringly funny.  I don't know why this is.  Maybe it's a way to diffuse a bad situation before it develops- I honestly have no idea.

It's not exactly a requirement, but if you come across a guy with a wicked sense of humor, odds are, he can hold his own when it's called for.

Tough guys look out for those weaker than them.  This includes women, children, old people, even other men.  Anyone who takes advantage of or tries to intimidate others isn't a tough guy; he's a bully.

Tough guys take care of themselves.  I'm not just talking about in a fight.  They can sew a button, do their own laundry, throw together an edible meal.  True tough guys don't rely on other people to look after them.  They look after themselves.

Tough guys don't start fights- they finish them.  You won't find a tough guy picking fights.  Tough guys know the damage they can do, and in most situations, would prefer to just walk away.

But don't think that means they won't fight.  Hurt someone they care about or throw the first punch, and they'll make sure you never make the same mistake twice.

Tough guys need tough women.  Relationships succeed when both parties are equal.  The only person equal to a tough guy is a tough woman.  She sees through the bluster and the bullshit, and knows a tough guy will treat her the way she deserves.

The opposite is also true.  Tough guys look at a woman other people might dismiss as a "bitch", and see someone who will be able to keep up.  Plus, they love a challenge, and nothing is more challenging than winning a tough woman's heart.

They may not draw attention to themselves, but there are still tough guys out there, if you know where to look.  They are infinitely more interesting -and infinitely tougher- than anything Hollywood could come up with.

And they're the men I choose to base my heroes on.

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22 comments:

  1. Love this. More than love it. ADORE it.

    (P.S. - not sure if you're aware, but your blog has captcha enabled. It took me 3 tries to post this.)

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  2. Ack! Glad you liked it, and thank you for persevering! I'll have to fix that...

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  3. This also reminds me of the deep dark mysterious type character. Also I like this post. (: The only thing I thing is different is tough guys dont nescissarily need tough women. I think they also like the 'softer' women to help them realize there is a gentler side of life.

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  4. That's a very good point! I think any "softer" woman who takes up with a tough guy must have a little tough streak in there somewhere, though ;-)

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  5. I think of you every time I see commercials for shows like Ice Road Truckers and Ice Cold Gold. I always wonder what kind of love story you'd spin for those, um, a-holes ;)

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  6. Haha! It'd be a scorcher, no doubt!

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  7. Loving this post! And...Ice Road Truckers? Ugh!

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  8. Coming from a long line of strong, silent Vikings, I totally agree. My husband also sews and irons way better than I do. God bless English boys' boarding schools. And he shines a mean pair of shoes.

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    1. That's so awesome! Mine makes a mean chicken soup when I'm not feeling well!

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  9. There is such a difference between strength and thuggishness. I love that tough guys finish the fight, but also stick up for those who can't protect themselves.

    Great post.

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    1. Thank you! You nailed my favorite part about tough guys :-)

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  10. I think your post just put into description the kind of male characters I'm attracted to in literature. I hadn't thought about why I like the male characters I do, but this is it! Really enjoyed reading this :)

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    1. Thanks for stopping by! We are definitely drawn to the same kinds of male characters!

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  11. You hit the nail on the head Laura!! Tough guys rock! Where I'm from (Swampsville, USA), a lot of guys think that wearing cowboy boots, trash-talking strong women, and listening to country music and/or hardcore rap makes them tough and it's just the opposite- they're putting on a show because they're not really tough. I love, love, LOVE this description of what it is to be tough : )

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  12. Thanks, Paula! I've known those guys, too- around here, they take the form of "gangstas" with the super-baggy clothes and hip-hop style. Every time I see them, I just shake my head. They have no idea...

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  13. Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. Every one of these points is utterly truthful.

    Sidenote: I know you've met Lord Caden briefly on Twitter, but when you get time and I'm done with this rewrite, I'd love it if you read SHADOW. Based on this post, I think you and the lord might get along quite brilliantly. ;)

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    1. I'm down! But fair warning; I may or may not start stalking you all over the Internet afterwards... ;-)

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  14. In the romance genre, we always here about the alpha male - but so often they're more asshole than alpha. I love it when they're not. :)

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  15. That is so HOT! teehee
    I love this post! You hit the nail on the head. As for Hollywood ...I hate when the "tough" guy is so over the top egotistical. That's a real turn off for me.

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